The Strongest Link: A Memory of The Inestimable Rock Guitarist Link Wray, Who Died Four Years Ago Yesterday

If you’ve never heard of the seminal American rock guitarist Link Wray, his Wiki page is here.

By way of remembering Wray, who died four years ago yesterday, I thought I’d share with you the below, which is a review I wrote of a show of his that I saw maybe ten years ago, at a club called The Casbah in San Diego. The video above could have been taken that night: that’s exactly how he looked. (Thanks for the link, Laura!)

Link Wray is arguably the first—and unarguably one of the finest—American rock guitarists. On his four-million selling 1958 single “Rumble” (the only purely instrumental tune ever to be banned from radio: it instigated rumbles, don’t you know) Link introduced the Rock God guitar sound that later inspired Pete Townshend, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney and Jimi Hendrix—to name just six who have named Wray a primary influence on their own work.

It’s legitimate to wonder what American rock would sound like today if it weren’t for the galvanizing guitar genius of Link Wray.

Today Mr. Wray is a thin, pale, 70-year-old with one lung (he lost the other decades ago to tuberculosis contracted during his service in the Korean war). You’d think that would slow him up a little. Think again. With his flowing black ponytail, sleeveless black T-shirt, bluejeans and ever-donned Ray-Bans, Link is still every bit the sort of feral, menacing punk your mother begs you not to hang out with. From the opening chord of “Rumble”—routinely referred to as the most important D chord in history—through his shingle-shaking encore some ninety minutes later, Ray prowled around the Casbah stage like a caged puma, executing the kind of blindingly fast fretboard work and maelstroms of precise phrasing that for the past forty-five or so years have proven so crucial in the development of everything from rockabilly to punk.

If this is old, bring on the Geritol.

Backed by a ferociously talented young bass player, and perhaps the only drummer in rock ‘n roll capable of simultaneously driving a beat and playing a trumpet, Link pretty much stuck to the sound for which he is most revered: the dirty, hickory-flavored, reverberating guitar tones that made “Rumble” such a hormone-generating menace to society.

Serving up steaming slabs of such trademark tunes as “Jack the Ripper,” “Ace of Spades,” “Raw-Hide,” and “Branded,” Ray played merciless hailstorms of fiery notes, seamlessly interspersed with the chord chunks laid down just behind the beat for which he is renowned. Challenging his delighted bass player to keep up with him, letting audience members in the front row strum his guitar while he coolly worked the frets, and constantly imploring the sound man to “Turn up the guitar, man! Turn it up!” Link Wray gave the mostly under-30 crowd something new to forever associate with the term “Rock of Ages.”

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An Atheist, Post-Death, Meets God

torture

Kidding!

[In the afterlife.]

Atheist: Wow. I can’t believe I’m dead.

God: Believe it.

Atheist: Whoa! Didn’t see you there! Who are you?

God: Hi. I’m God.

Atheist: Ha, ha. No, but seriously. Who are you?

God: I’m seriously God. It’s nice to finally meet you.

Atheist: You’re God. You’re telling me that you’re God. Continue reading

Atheists: You’ve Been Right All Along

blind

Here's a standard Christian youth camp indoctrination game we like to call Follow Jesus.

Atheists: I hereby declare that you are right. I give up trying to pretend otherwise. You win. You’ve got my number. Despite everything I’ve been saying and writing for years, you know the truth, and your laser-like focus upon it that truth finally burned through my facade of deception.

So here, finally, is the truth I’ve been too long denying: All Christians are, in fact, ignorant, narrow-minded, self-righteous, intolerant, intrusive, hypocritical, Continue reading

The U.S. Christian Community Finally Returns My Calls!

pylonAfter I posted yesterday’s Why Won’t the U.S. Christian Community Return My Phone Calls?, my phone rang. It was them! Here’s how my conversation with the U.S. Christian Community went:

My phone: Ring. Ring. Ri—

Me: Hello?

U.S. Christian Community: Is this John Shore?

Me: Who wants to know? Continue reading

Why Won’t the U.S. Christian Community Return My Phone Calls?

mrquestions“Hey John,” wrote Latoya, one of what I’m sure are my many readers in Jamaica. “Could you do a post on how the Christian community in the U.S. views Halloween?”

I’d love to, Latoya! I feel I should tell you, though, that the U.S. Christian community hardly ever returns my phone calls. Continue reading

Life is Halloween

pumpkins_2Ah, Halloween. The name is derived from the Latin word “hollow”— meaning temporary, fleeting—and “ween,” as in, “How are we gonna ween our kids off all that sugar?” So we combine “fleeting sensations” with “must eventually stop,” and what do we have?

That’s right: Life.

Life is Halloween. We dress up (if things like a tie for men and pantyhose for women aren’t costume material, I’m a teenage werewolf); we go out into the world; without meaning to beg or anything we do everything we can to maximize getting as much of what we want as we can possibly get away with; with booty in hand we rush back home again; we try to not immediately tear through everything we secured for ourselves but to instead save at least some of it for later; we fail to do that; we feel regret and even a little shame; inexplicably, we want more.

Eventually we die.

See? Add a witch here and an angry zombie there, a bunch of full moons, some occasional screaming that scares you half to death, neighbors you’re forced to interact with but would rather not know—and there you have it. Life.

Last night a little kid of maybe six years old came to our house fully decked out as a cowboy–except instead of a cowboy hat he was wearing a spaceman’s helmet.

“Wow!” I said. “Cool!”

“I know!” he said. “I’m a space cowboy!”

So. Life is good.

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The Cheapest Halloween Costume Ideas EVER

1necky

Here's a guy going out on Halloween dressed as a person with with extraordinary neck muscles

For those of you who don’t subscribe to my Twitter feed or visit me on Facebook, below is this … weird little burst of costume ideas I posted on Twitter this morning. I’m sure I’ll be adding to these throughout the day, since I can tell my brain has snapped into “This is fun! Let’s do this for the next four days!” mode (which is … well, a whole other problem I won’t bore you with).

Anyway, here are my Costume Idea tweets from this morning:

For Halloween I’m dressing as a shut-in writer who rarely goes outside. Then I’m gonna LIVE the part. It’s all about commitment.

Wait: For Halloween I’m now wearing black dress shoes with spats, a toga, and a Yankees cap. Going as a confused time-traveler.

Wait: For Halloween I’m gonna wear a nice suit and a big lapel button that says, “Vote for Me.” Going as a congenital liar.

On Halloween, I’ll wear normal clothes. Upon door opening, will scream, “Candy! Now!” Going as guy who just doesn’t get it.

When people open their doors on Halloween, they’ll find me standing with my back to them. Going as guy with commitment issues.

When people open their doors on Halloween I’ll yell, “Burn in hell, sinner!” Going as Fred Phelps.

On Halloween, I’ll act unable to grasp my goodie bag, or move my fingers at all. I’m going as a blogger.

On Halloween I’ll grab huge handfuls of the candy, then throw it all to the ground and stomp on it. Going as Joe Lieberman.

On Halloween I’ll knock on people’s doors, but then run away before they open them. Going as Osama bin Laden.

On Halloween, I’ll say “Trick or …” and then just freeze in mid-sentence, mouth open, dead silent. I’m going as AT&T.

Them: “Who are you?” Me: “Who are you?” Them: “What?” Me: “What?” Them: “Stop it!” Me: “Stop it!” Going as Arianna Huffington.

At each house on Halloween I’ll take ALL their candy, and then pee in their empty bowl. Going as Goldman Sachs.

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We Get the God We Can Handle

tailorIn yesterday’s The Moment of My Christian Conversion–And How Mistaken It Left Me, I left off wondering why God chose “to reveal of himself just enough to deeply inspire people, but not so much that they would actually agree upon the beliefs inspired by that inspiration.”

That’s right; that’s how I roll with my Rollerball.

No, but you know what I mean? You wouldn’t think that God, of all people majestic entities, would be as willing as he apparently is to leave so much of who and what he is so completely up to the interpretation of his individual adherents. I think it’s safe to say that if God wanted all of us to think and understand the exact same things about him—if he wanted to once and for all make perfectly clear exactly who he is—he would, and we would. But that hasn’t happened. And that leaves so many people who call themselves Christian with so many radically different ideas about what that does or should mean that it’s reasonable to wonder—and it’s certainly reasonable for someone outside the faith to wonder—whether or not we’re all really worshiping the same God.

One group believes in a God who holds that women should possess no authority in His church, and that when they die all homosexuals and people who don’t believe in him go straight to hell. Another group believes that women make excellent pastors and bishops, that unrepentant homosexuals are as welcomed in heaven as anyone else, and that heaven is available to all, Christian or not.

Can that really be the same God?

Of course it can. People might … get a little muddled, but God remains eternally God. (And in truth, who can blame any Christian for being at least a little confused about God? Have you tried to read the Bible?)

So for those of us who believe in his infinite wisdom and power, the question is why God has arranged it so that different people who believe in him believe such wildly different things about him.

My answer is that God is exquisitely orchestrating his relationship with every one of us in a way that exactly meshes with what each of us most needs. God knows our life, our heart, our mind, our history, our psychology. So, in the manner of a loving God, he melds into our consciousness in a way that respects us—that works with us, that ennobles us, that enhances not just who we are, but who he knows we can become.

God starts with us where we are, period. And then, within each of us, he begins working on that process by which we are all ultimately rendered the same.

Apart on earth; together in heaven.

Keeps things spicy, doesn’t it?

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The Moment of My Christian Conversion–And How Mistaken It Left Me

tower-of-babel1I became a Christian when I was thirty-eight years old. Up until the moment of my sudden conversion I had no interest whatsoever in Christianity, and never had. I thought its doctrine moronic, its adherents willfully delusional, its role in history contemptible. I’d as soon have become a traveling circus geek as a Christian. Continue reading

The Inexplicable Charm of Old Metro Buses

busA friend I met through Facebook, Stuart Dobie, lives in Hong Kong, where he does wonderful work with a nonprofit organization, Mother’s Choice, that provides aid and services to unwed mothers. Continue reading