Issac Newton, sporting the tresses few women could resist
In my last posting (here), I helped women understand the possible meaning of words men use to describe themselves in personal ads. Today, I’m hoping to assist single men by revealing the ice-breakers used by some of the most eminent men in history on the women they were hoping to date.
Adam: Let’s hide from Mr. Nosey up there, and have some fun. What’s the worst that could happen?
Noah: There’s room for one more!
Homer: Date me, or I’ll bore you to death.
Socrates: Date me, or I’ll confuse you to death.
Plato: Date me, or I’ll prove you don’t exist.
Alexander the Great: Do you know that I’m often called “The Great”? And I have no idea what the men call me, heh, heh, heh.
Julius Caesar: I came. I saw. I’m asking.
Michelangelo: I feel like before I met you, everyone I’d ever known was made of stone.
Leonardo da Vinci: I find your smile absolutely intriguing.
Martin Luther: Haven’t you heard? Turns out we wouldn’t have to go to confession at all!
Galileo: Other men may tell you they can bring you the moon. But look through this.
Sir Isaac Newton: Tell you what: You date me, and I’ll let you borrow my wig.
William Shakespeare: Forsooth! Gway’ne ferbernitch won myryacle portenieth! Fie uponst thou eyre’nt hisslyp! Wait! Come back!
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie. Martha is my sister. From Nevada.
Benjamin Franklin: You know, in France I’m considered quite the catch. I am, too! Stop laughing.
Napoleon: My dear, I could bring you the world on a platter. Seriously. By, like, this Thursday.
Abraham Lincoln: I know when you look at me, all you see is my gargantuan nose, ears, lips, chin, cheekbones, and eyebrows. And my Amish beard. And my stovepipe hat. And my mournful expression. And my ill-fitting clothes. You know what? Forget it.
Vincent Van Gogh: Ear’s lookin’ at you!
Sigmund Freud: As far as I’m concerned, there’s just you and my mother–I mean, and no other.
Thomas Edison: I know you’ve never heard this phrase before, but trust me: You turn me on.
Albert Einstein: I know this sounds crazy, but I’m late for an important awards ceremony. Do you happen to have a comb or hairbrush on you that I could borrow?
Pablo Picasso: So, here come do often you?
Adolph Hitler: Hi, I’m Adolph Hit … come back!
Mahatma Gandhi: I’ve been watching you watching me. And I think we both know that, deep down, you want to rub my head.
Winston Churchill: I’ve been watching you watching me. And I think we both know that, deep down, you want to rub Mahatma Gandhi’s head. I can arrange that!
John Fitzgerald Kennedy: Next!
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Posted by nisperos on August 9, 2007 at 11:40 am
Excuses and Warnings:
Joan of Arc: So Burn Me at the Stake
Molly Brown: Unlike the Titanic, I’m unsinkable
Hedda Hopper: “Nobody’s interested in sweetness and light!”
Annie Oakley: Always remember I’m an expert marksman
Mother Jones: Only if you’ll join the fight “My address is like my shoes. It travels with me. I abide where there is a fight against wrong.”
Posted by Jeremy on August 9, 2007 at 12:10 pm
The brain child of my freind Ryan, of which I am pround to have contributed a couple:
Top 10 Courtship Pick-Ups:
10. “So I talked to your dad last night…”
9. “I lost my phone number. Maybe through a purposeful relationship, we can find out if I’m supposed to have yours.”
8. “Your Bible…or mine?”
7. “We’re perfect for each other. Our parents have so much in common!”
6. This one comes right out of the book of Song of Solomon, “You’re so, so, how can I say this biblically? Your teeth are like a flock of ewes that have come up from the washing…Your hair is like a herd of goats running down a mountain!”
5. “Do your feet hurt? ‘Cause you’ve been running through God’s plans for me all eternity long!”
4. “Let’s get our siblings together and go out sometime.”
3. “I can’t wait to see what you look like at 50.”
2. “Your modesty’s showing.”
1. “My parents are back in town. Wanna come over?”
Posted by Elizabeth on August 9, 2007 at 2:43 pm
John –
I read these to Hunky Hubby and he said Lincoln’s should begin, ” Fourscore… and if you came along …”
(Keeping it clean… Fill in the blanks…)
Posted by John Shore on August 9, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I’m afraid I didn’t quite get the joke with what you wrote here, but I can DEFINITELY tell you that the Lincoln one was the hardest. And yet, at the end, it was one of the ones with which I was most pleased.
And (believe me) keeping it clean WAS the challenge with these.
Posted by Elizabeth on August 9, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Ummm… It would be five….
Posted by John Shore on August 9, 2007 at 5:35 pm
WHAT would be five????
Posted by John Shore on August 9, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Oh. Wait. Never mind.
Posted by totaltransformation on September 8, 2007 at 9:17 am
Great stuff. I really enjoyed them all.
Posted by The Five People Who’ll Probably Beat Me Up In Heaven « Suddenly Christian on April 7, 2008 at 6:09 pm
[...] Lincoln. In a post of mine called “Pick-Up Lines Of Famous Men In History,” I said that Abe Lincoln’s pick-up line would be, “I know when you look at me, [...]
Posted by Asad on April 8, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Blackbeard: “Arrrgh you free Saturday night?”
Posted by Dev on September 15, 2008 at 11:06 am
OMG….really awesome…u have a really creative factory up there between ur ears
Posted by John Shore on September 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Thank you very much, Dev. That’s kind of you to say.
Posted by ric booth on January 9, 2009 at 11:48 am
John Shore: Hey, wanna blog?
Posted by John Shore on January 9, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Oh, sure, Ric. Laugh it up. But you know you’re picturing me naked.
Posted by ric booth on January 9, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Thanks for the LOL op. I needed that.