For many many years I studied and practiced Eastern paths such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and Vedic tradition. I did find God in those as well, but what was missing for me was Jesus and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. As soon as I chose to believe, everything changed….I changed. I was transformed from the inside out. It took time, but each time I went back to that conscious intention to believe in Him, I was renewed over and over again. Like you said, it doesn’t make me perfect now…in fact this just proves my imperfection because my spirit needs renewal everyday but everyday I continue to believe, everyday I’m healed.

Many people think that Christians are rigid in our beliefs and whatnot and I don’t feel rigid at all. I still embrace truths that I find out there, wherever the source. I do not condemn or deny other religions. I just say that for me, when I accepted Christ was who he said he was and I accepted the residence of the Holy Spirit, everything changed. Whereas before, I would try to follow practices and beliefs from other religions but was not changed on the inside. I needed the magic of who God was, the three in one, to really do the changing in me. That’s all…. It’s just that simple.

What a fantastic little … piece of writing. The whole piece was outstanding. Thanks for sharing it. Wonderful.

Man. I’ve got some SERIOUSLY nice, thoughtful, smart, soulful people on this blog. What a blessing.

It’s awesome you get to be that guy. Your kids are lucky they have you. It sounds like you’re really sensitive to that fine line between protecting and … smothering.

And yeah, MOST of the pain we cause is to ourselves. We do as we’re taught. If my parents didn’t like me, it must be because I’m unlikeable. And because (no matter what) I DO love my parents, I WILL spend my life (or at the very least much too much of it) proving that they were, after all, right: That, in fact, I’m not likeable.

Terrible!

The truth is (as you know; as we all know) a LOT of people’s childhood was just … deeply trashed. It seems to me that there’s just … Really, Really Bad–and once your life is in that category, after that it’s just a difference in details. You know? You can be in so much pain, and … then that’s kind of it. Now you’re in The Bad Zone with all the OTHER trillion people out there who, for whatever reason, ended up in the same sad, desperate place.

And to be honest, I’m not sure it’s best NOT to start out life seriously dinked. If there’s one thing you can say about suffering a lot of pain when you’re young, it’s that it allows you a mechanism to, for the rest of your life, be REALLY sympathetic to, and sensitive about, suffering in others. I don’t know a lot of things about a lot of things, but I’m VERY … what’s the word … AWARE of when someone else is suffering. And immediately they have my heart.

Which is why I would make a terrible judge. But that’s another (stupid) story.

But you know what I mean. A child who suffers has, maybe, a better chance of growing up into someone aware of and moved by the suffering of others, than does a child who never had any real reason to establish within themselves the fundamental paradigm and TRUTH of the reality of human suffering. If that made sense.

Like, I had a pastor friend. Very respected; head of huge church. Grew up in a loving, Christian home. He once told me that low self esteem was essentially an emotinally selfish, egotistical indulgence. And I thought, “That, right there, is the difference between someone who was raised KNOWING they were loved and god and honorable, and someone who was raised to feel like trash.”

He just didn’t … get how REAL the “issue” of low self-esteem is for people. He couldn’t. He’d never accessed it personally–so, for him, it didn’t really exist. And I think his pastoring suffered for that blind spot.

The bottom line is that the degree to which you have suffered is the degree to which you can identify with Christ’s suffering. Which makes all of our pain very precious indeed.

As you might recall, I’m reading “I’m ok…”. And I should be done with it already especially after taking it on a week vacation. But I found that vacations with a 2 and 4 year old are a whole lot less relaxing than the ones I had before kids. Enjoyable, just not what you would call relaxing. I brought three books and not one was read during the whole vacation.

Anyway, I started to read it again last night. Your childhood confirms the fact that no matter how bad anybody has had it, someone else has had it worse. Let me just say you got street cred with that childhood. I thought I had it (adopted, both parents divorced numerous times, etc. etc.) but after reading about yours I realized I don’t. I’ve told my wife about a time when my mom left at night on a date and didn’t come home until the next morning. At like 3 in the morning I called my dad to come pick me up as I thought something bad had happened to mom and I was just a wreck. But your mom skipping out for two years puts my story to shame. I’ll never bring up my tale of woe again.

But, I'm aware that the person I am today is because of the pain I've experienced along the way, (and much of it self induced by the way) including a fairly messed up childhood. I pray that my kids don't have the hangups and dysfunction I had/have as they have been a source of much pain. Yet, I see the fruit it has produced ie. compassion for others suffering. I want nothing more than the best for my kids including little to no pain in their lives, but in the long run Gods plan probably includes some suffering.

How painful it must have been for our Father to see Jesus suffer as he did.

You described our human nature and Truth in such vivid and plain terms – and to me it was a great "summary" of the Good (or as I prefer to think of it, Greatest) News of Jesus…and His loving and redeeming us from, well, basically – ourselves! He did/does for me what I can't even do for myself no matter how I desire or try. Thanks for listening to the Holy Spirit and being so obviously guided by Him in your response to Sarah.

Now I see some other people's comments, and am just hoping that Sarah and others' minds don't get all convoluted… It's just like life when you hear the simple message of Christ, then the world and its message bombard you at such speed that the simplicity of Jesus can be forgotten or something. Hmmm…seems to me that God is onto all this stuff that happens to His message cuz He brought up the sower and the seed a long time ago.

I am also touched by the interchange between you (John) and Ross… It's a ponderous thing what pains (and joys too) God allows us to "access personally" so that we identify with Christ and one another. I am always amazed at the practical grace God works out in our lives – and grace isn't always pain free. It wasn't for Jesus.

Strobel and Lewis' books are fabo, for sure. I of course knew them both before I wrote Penguins. And I was still deeply pleased to write Penguins, because … because I knew Penguins was still necessary. I knew something more … succinct/shorter would be a very good thing. As would something that I felt was more logically rigorous than are those two books. As would something a LOT funnier. As would something more clearly generated from a place of sincere understanding of where a nonbeliever lives and is coming from. (Lewis' book is good like that, though. But it can be awfully dense for a modern nonbeliever to get into.)

Anyway, had to say it. Cuz … well, cuz it's true. Even if, obnoxiously enough, I say so myself. (Luckily, lots of others have said the same thing. So I'm kinda … safe like that.)

1. Empty tomb. What better way to squash this nascent sect than to parade around his dead body after he had predicted his resurrection. The Jewish leaders could have had this done, it certainly behooved them to do so, yet it didn't happen.

2. Eleven out of the original twelve apostles were martyred for their faith in Christ. Why would they go to painful deaths knowing Jesus was a fraud?

There are many good apologetic books you can read that can give many more. "The case for Christ" by Lee Strobel is a good one. He was a reporter for the Chicago Sun and investigated the claims of Christ after his wife became a believer. He to became a believer after much research and seeing how his wife had changed.

There's also CS Lewis' book "Mere Christianity" that lays out many logical arguments for Christianity. You've probably heard his "liar, lunatic or God" argument which comes from that book.

Your not believing in people coming into the world greedy and selfish shows that either you don't have children or haven't spent much time around them. I have a two and four year old. Let me confirm that indeed they are born sinful and greedy. I have to instruct/discipline/beat (wait scratch the last one) them to get them to not be those things. And it's not just my little wicked kids. Our secular neighbors with kids the same age, who are more enlighted than my wife and I, and barely tell their kids no let alone discipline them, have kids that make my kids look like perfect angels. Kids don't have to be taught to lie, cheat, be selfish, cruel, rude, etc. they all do it naturally…no instruction needed. It's the noble things they have no natural inclination for that we as parents have to instill in them.

There are people in my life that I used to think were saints. If anybody was going to Heaven they were. But my view of them has changed since then. I became a Christian 15 years ago and through much trial and tribulation can say that God continues to change me into the person he wants me to become. Often times I'm kicking and screaming but I have tried to obey the Holy Spirits prompting. Anyway on this path of sanctification I as all Christians see things through Gods eyes more and more. As God has opened my eyed I can now see people more as God sees them with love on the one hand, but sinful and needing a savior on the other. What I'm trying to say is that just because you see somebody as good and righteous, don't assume others or God see them or you as you do. The people I used to think were pretty good I know see as most definately needing a savior. The good I saw in them I still see, but I see sinfulness I didn't see before. That's not to say I've become someone who is always criticizing or judging others I just don't see them as I once did.

Unless you know someone very closely, you may not ever see they're sinful side of who they are as we as humans naturally do our best to hide and supress it. That's why marriage can be so hard – each spouse gets to see the other one for exactly who they are.

Finally, I would just say ask God to show you the truth and he will.

God Bless.