News flash. Girls CAN pee standing up. Takes a little practice (in the shower is a good place), but it is doable. AND it causes some doubletakes that make the effort waaaaay more than worth it.

Other than that — I recognize the advantages in being a guy … but still, hands down, would rather be a girl

1) Eating and Drinking too much are acceptable, as long as there is a sporting event involved. Women only get holidays/other special occasions, and as far as eating is involved, 4-7 days a month. There’s always sports on tv! Of course, anyone can do whatever they want, I’m merely speaking of what is socially acceptable so to speak, even if that implies a double standard.

2) Having 20-25 years of your life without having to accept proper hygiene. You stink, oh, thats right ,you’re a man-boy. Oh you farted, well that figures, you’re a man. Oh your burped, well that figures, you’re a man. No Deodrant/Stain on Your shirt/need a haircut? I guess all of those together kind of screams pot-head, but it can happen.

3) Knowing that no matter how much of a jerk you are, if you’re good looking, some girl will fall in love with you. This is something I don’t abuse(and I am not good looking) but its true. Not to mention, Naive Women are attracted to idiots. (You exposed on this in a previous post, as is.)

4) Knowing that the worst chores you HAVE TO(of course, you can do whatever-but these are man only usually) do around the house is taking out the trash and walking the dog. The only un-pleasant one is pretending to have any sort of mechanical inclination and having to fail miserably/almost kill yourself before you can call a carpenter/electrician/plumber.

5) Being allowed to get away with a moderate amount of misogyny, as long as it coincides with an equal degree of chivalry. Again, not necessarily me, but a common occurance.

6) Knowing that your always right(Just Kidding)

7) Pretending that when someone sets you off, you can kick their butt/when another man sets off the woman your involved with, her thinking you can kick his butt, even if he is twice your size. Of course when you do a little too much of part a, and when your woman enjoys part b, sometimes there is part c: having your butt kicked by some guy who is twice your size because your lady doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut(Oh-High School, I remember thee well. Oh yes, you’re the center on the football team huh…and you said something mean to my girlfriend while you were drunk, GREAT!)

Knowing that your mother will always love you, even if it means she tries and coddle you until the day she dies, and passes judgment on every woman you’re ever involved with, ever, even if you don’t want her opinion and will make backhanded comments in company of said woman she does not like, mostly because she is not like your mother.
(Note: Any man who hasn’t experienced some degree of this, at least once, is an absolute liar).

The pregnancy/birth thing is a given. Then:

-I don't have to sit down to use the bathroom all the time (elaboraton on the outdoor plumbing)

-No strange, monthly "cycle"

-No long hair to look after and be careful for (for many, not all women…i do like the short hair look on some women)

-No makeup (again, this applies to many, not all, women. and yet again, I do like the no-makeup look on a lot of women)

-On average, men are taller

-No need for a bra (although, Kramer did come up with "The Bro" for men)

-Don't have to deal with the weirdness of breast feeding

(man…girls are weirder than I thought)

That's about it. Hmm…we often still have to pay for the first several dates. And girls can form vicious little girl-cliques and they usually smell and look better. Some of them can beat me up too…man…hmmm….But I don't have periods (or babies)!