Don’t we Christians hate the fact that that while we’re trying to have Christ be the focus of Christmas, everyone else wants the primary personality of the Christmas season to be Santa Claus?
And doesn’t that make Santa the anti-Christ?
Ho, ho, ho, indeed. The gall of Satan pretending to be jolly!
And Santa being Satan certainly explains a lot. For one, it explains the red suit. It also explains the flying reindeer. Remember how scary the flying monkeys were in The Wizard of Oz? Clearly, making mammals fly is an earmark of the deeply malevolent. And seriously: What would you rather have flying over you—a 50-pound monkey, or a 500-pound reindeer? That wide-brimmed hat the Wicked Witch of the West wears might protect her from monkey droppings, but is it really going to help against a team of reindeer flying overhead?
And elves. Please. An elf is just a gnome with better P.R. And everyone knows gnomes live to create havoc. I used to live in a house in the woods that became infested with gnomes. Believe me, that is not something you want to live through. And if it ever does happen to a place you’re living, do not use Gnome Motel. That product is useless. Those little creeps built on to the Gnome Motel we left out for them. They put in a little jacuzzi, and a deck. The workmanship was awful. And it led to all these little booze bottles being scattered all around the place.
Terrible. We finally had to call in a pack of mad rottweilers.
Boy. Talk about getting the job done.
Anyway, the point is that Santa is Satan. Look how close their names are! And Santa/Satan isn’t the only diabolic anagram going on with Mr. Red Nose’s name, either. Rearrange the letters spelling “Saint Nick,” and what do you get? That’s right: sick taint. And Kris Kringle? Try Sir Grinlekk—which totally sounds like it could be the name of one of Harry Potter’s wicked wizards, doesn’t it? So I think that settles it.
Santa Claus. Satan’s cause. Satan’s claws. It’s not even subtle.
Plus, everyone knows that the Devil’s whole thing is to make people believe the opposite of the truth. And, as we all know, Hades is about as far south as south gets. So where does “Santa” live? But of course: as far north as north gets.
Pffhhht. Any child is trickier.
Speaking of children, do I even need to mention how wrong it is to teach our children to associate getting great things for free (Santa!) with breaking and entering (Satan!)? How long is it before any Christmas-inculcated kid with any initiative at all thinks to himself, “Hmm. Santa. Down chimney while people sleep. December 25. Me. Through window while people are on vacation. Now.”
The Christmas season is upon us. Let us become ever more vigilant against the evil that tries to distract us from its true meaning. Christmas is about celebrating the incarnation of God—period. And that is why I, for one, will be prepared throughout this entire Christmas season to at any given moment stand straight, point accusingly, and cry at the top of my lungs, “Get thee behind me, Santa!”
I’ll let you know how that goes.
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![John Shore on The Huffington Post](http://johnshore.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/huffpost.jpg?w=120 "John Shore on The Huffington Post\")
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Santa is not Satan!
For more info …
Go to …
santaisnotsatan.
bravehost.
com/
I think you are hilarious, and laughter doeth good like a medicine. Thanks for making my Monday!
Hey it sure isn’t hard to make people laugh, because that was the dumbest article I’ve ever read. Congratulations John, you are a witty one. Honestly though, I do get your point and I understand that for the most part you are joking. However, to you Christians that are actually agreeing with the idea that Santa is Satan, get a life. Last time I checked, Santa was a noble character. I grew up, firmly believing in Santa, and never once did I doubt the authority or significance of the birth of Jesus Christ. “Oh my goodness, we can’t lie to our kids”, by the time your kids realize that Santa is a fictitious character, chances are they will be intelligent enough to still believe in Christ, and not doubt his existence. Santa cultivates the imagination in children, I wouldn’t trade any of the nights I stayed up as a child, waiting for Santa to appear. I would convince myself that I heard reindeer hooves on my roof, or saw a blur of red rush out the window. Maybe you people were neglected as children, or perhaps your parents didn’t encourage the growth of your imagination. Either way, all you guys end up doing is contributing to the secular stereotype that Christians are a bunch of “ban this, ban that, and criticize everything and everyone” people. There are much larger arguments to pursue and much graver controversies to debate than “is Santa evil”. As a Christian, anything that is held in higher esteem than Christ, or seen as being more important than him is bad. As long as we know and hold the position of Christ’s authority in our lives and hearts, we can understand that, while Santa should in no way be a substitute for Christ, he can still hold a loving and important position in our hearts.
Enough already. Please. A girl can only take so much laughter in a day. There are some other things I’d like to say, but I almost can’t type because I’m laughing so hard.
Thanks, John.
And to you, umm, humor-impaired individuals, I really appreciate your…passion.
This is the funniest thing I have read! I can’t imagine anyine that hasn’t had to do a little “Santa” shopping hasn’t felt like this the past few days!
Hello all.
I did not read everyone's post but plan to and, I am sure, that God has had some of you share along the same lines as I am going to but, I believe, that His Word never goes out void.
The first verse that came to my mind, after reading John Shore's posting, was this:
"One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind." Romans 14:5
Reads like all of you are fully persuaded in your own minds as to how you esteemeth Christmas Day.
I, myself, agree with "Liz" (post #8) with "***Just thoughts***"
Also, with "Angela" (post #9) with "My major problem…"
I cannot, in my own heart, agree with "Jane" (post #7) on Santa existing along-side a spiritual Christmas; except, for where Santa bows down, humbly, to Jesus; but, even in that, I could dare to hear Jesus Christ say, "Get thee behind me Satan!"; because, I see Santa as a thing that Satan uses to deceive the nations with.
"Assemble yourselves and come; draw near together, ye that are escaped of the nations: they have no knowledge that set up the wood of their graven image, and pray unto a god that cannot save." Isa. 45:20
Do any of your/our children hope Santa will bring them anything? Do any of your/our children put their faith in Santa and ask him, in anyway shape or form, for things they desire?
"Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female," Deut. 4:16
(verses 23 and 25, also).
But and then there is this verse:
"I know, and am persuaded by the LORD Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean." Rom.14:14
I am a New Testament Believer, myself, but know that Jesus Christ did not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it.
As He said, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." Matt.5:17
So, I've come to the conclusion that all of you are correct as much as God hath dealt to each of you, and me, a "measure of faith".
"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith." Rom.12:3
Some of you have less "faith" than others but are still being saved.
And, then, here are the verses that flooded my thoughts as I continued to think on this subject that John Shore's started:
"Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations." Rom.14:1
"For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs." Rom.14:2
"It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything wereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak." Rom.14:21
Yes, for we all are accountable to the other and we all need each other…
"And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you." 1 Cor. 12:21
"For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:" 1 Cor. 12:24
"We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves." Rom.15:1
To Jehovah God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit be glory and dominion forever and ever! Amen!
Yep…"Iranian Ajax"….I termed my alias after the name of the CIA op that overthrew the Iranian regime in 1953. It is called TPAJAX. TP was the Agency's designation for Iran, just at GT was the Agency's designation for Russia.
the 1953 coup is my all-time favorite chapters in American history. Kermit Roosevelt was the man…so were the Dulles Brothers.
=Iranian Ajax
Lance, Hey thanks for the parallel!
For some reason I love your translation.
John, I've decided to only read only some of the words on blogs from here on out… I've discovered it really increases traffic plus its A LOT more fun.
ps. I've already started on a poem about how the easter bunny is really the demonic Screwtape.
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
No Santa Claus, but rather – Nicholas of Myra
Also known as Klaus; Mikulas; Nicholas of Bari; Nicolaas; Nicolas; Niklas; Santa Claus
Memorial is today, 6 December
Priest. Abbot. Bishop of Myra, Lycia (modern Turkey). Generous to the poor, and special protector of the innocent and wronged. Many stories grew up around him prior to his becoming Santa Claus. Some examples:
Upon hearing that a local man had fallen on such hard times that he was planning to sell his daughters into prostitution, Nicholas went by night to the house and threw three bags of gold in through the window, saving the girls from an evil life. These three bags, gold generously given in time of trouble, became the three golden balls that indicate a pawn broker’s shop.
He raised to life three young boys who had been murdered and pickled in a barrel of brine to hide the crime. These stories led to his patronage of children in general, and of barrel-makers besides.
Induced some thieves to return their plunder. This explains his protection against theft and robbery, and his patronage of them – he’s not helping them steal, but to repent and change. In the past, thieves have been known as Saint Nicholas’ clerks or Knights of Saint Nicholas.
During a voyage to the Holy Lands, a fierce storm blew up, threatening the ship. He prayed over it, and the storm calmed – hence the patronage of sailors and those like dockworkers who work on the sea.
Died c.346 at Myra; relics believed to be at Bari, Italy. Canonized
perhaps an expose' of Christmas is in order. the reason why we Protestants celebrate the event in the first place is because the Roman church was unwilling to forgo the riches of the pagan populace that celebrated Mithra's birthday ergo dec 25. So being the practical and corrupt men that they were they decided to overlay Jesus' birth on Mithra's and placate the wealthy pagans thus essentially saying to hte pagan. "you can join the church and still keep you long held pagan celebrations."
when we do a careful counting of gestation times from Zacharia's angelic visitation to the birth of John and thus the birth of Jesus we find that the time of Jesus' birth is more likely to have happened during the week of Succoth (feast of Tabernacles). In fact this is when the Jews expected the messiah to appear. John says that the Word became flesh and tabernacled or tented or boothed among us. Perhaps we should abandon the pagan oriented Christmas altogether and celebrate Succoth. BTW Easter does the same thing to passover. each pagan celebration is passed off as the truth when in reality they are carefully crafted counterfeits. the real truths of Jesus birth and death are found in Succoth and Passover respectively.
That was truly hillariuos! I found this one of the most amusing things I have read so far this week! Some people might take this seriously, though and think you are some paranoid devil-obsessed physco. I hope you always keep your great sense of humor! God Bless!
Anita: I HAVE a little statue thing of Santa kneeling before Jesus. It’s on top of one of our speakers, even as I type. Cat bought it a long time ago–way before we were Christian–because I liked it. So if you came over to our house, I’d have to HIDE it, because I hate it when someone bleeds on our couch.
ELCA. I love it. I love the whole liturgical way of worshipping. Evengelicals who sort of ignore the Christian calendar really miss out, I think. I just wrote a whole thing for this book I’m writing about the church calendar and all that. Anyway, I’m a huge fan.
Samantha: Yeah, who knew?? Crazy. My evangelical-type friends have told me, “Where have you been? The whole subject of Santa is HUGE with Christians! How could you not know that?” So I’m making new friends. I don’t need that kind of attitude. No, but … who knew?
Joan: Thanks for the links. Which I haven’t opened. But I’m sure are great. Or not. I really don’t know. So I really have no idea why I’m actually typing right now at all. But thanks for writing/caring!!
Ya know what’s sad? I was looking for a Santa pic… and found many “Satan/Santa” pics. THen did a search for the heck of it, and was amazed at how many people out there DO seem to manke this connection. Who knew??? No wonder this thread was so hot.
Check it out:
http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=satan+santa
well hello!!!
first off loved the piece. it was classic and interesting. i think we all get it very confused this time of year. the "this time of year" is even a problem. we should serve God and others year round. why is it that at this time of year we buy gifts and think about the poor and hungry? i'm sure some see the needy all year long but those that only see the need during a holiday (funny holy-day/holi-day…)?
i hate the fact that some don't care about family, friends and anyone for that matter until a holiday rolls around and it's mandated by society. some only attend worship on these holidays. i mean we get uber religious and spiritual during a holiday.
i learned about satan claws as a child but i've also been taught about Jesus also. i'll stick with Jesus. not like i'm saying we're making a choice but i'd rather stick with him just the same.
oh well… i really enjoyed the piece and even though it was done in humor i really think it gave us all something to meditate on.
Well, I found this very interesting…. God Bless!!!
the Bible says the traditions of man make the word of God of no effect. And our holiday traditions are a huge part of that. What thinking seeker wouldn't look at the use of fertility symbols (eggs and bunnies) to celebrate Jesus' resurrection and turn away in disgust?
the same goes for Christmas. in this age of new information – like the printing press put the Bible in the hands of everyday people, the internet is putting historical truths at our fingertips.
anyhew, it's for you to decide (obviously), but in the meantime, here are some links that have good info:
http://www.salvationbygrace.org/default.aspx http://www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.html
(this guy uses angry tone throughout, but if you can get past that, he has some interesting research – a lot of it confirmed in the Wikipedia entry below)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_claus
blessings to you my brothers and sisters!
Dude…that’s HILARIOUS. I actually laughed out loud.
I’m sorry. I can’t respond. I’m busy eating babies, and later this afternoon I’ll be sacrificing a goat to Lord Xenu.
Now, if anyone takes THAT seriously, things will really start getting ridiculous.
I happen to think that Santa is the same as Satan. And the Easter Bunny too.
As they all don’t exist, they are all the same.
Now bring on the war! Mwahahahaha!
(Maybe that will take some of the heat off you, John.
)
Hmmm. Let’s see … my last posting that generated mondo comments and so on was … “Six Tests To Determine If He’s Mr. Right” (Nov. 12) and “Men. Don’t. Change” on Nov. 7. And while (if I recall) those generated some truly obnoxious rage-a-thons, you’re right: this one seems to be … oddly combustive.
Well, I think one thing is clear, anyway. It’s unlikely that Santa Claus really is the devil. I don’t think any of us have to think about it too long at all until we realize that Satan is, in fact, the Easter Bunny.
You know, actually, I’ve enjoyed the comments here as much as I ever have for any posting. The nice, thoughtful, funny, intelligent ones have been just SOOO good.
John, I just had a thought. The last time you had such passionate comments…and anywhere near this number of comments…was back when the friendly “Christian/atheist” discussions turned into “He does exist! No he doesn’t! Yes he does, and you’re dumb! No he doesn’t and YOU’RE dumb!”
Now, it’s “Santa is Satan! No he isn’t! Yes he is, and secular Christmas is evil! No he isn’t, just relax! Hey it was supposed to be funny! I’m not amused, this blog sucks! [etc]”
…which leaves me no choice but to conclude that, in the throes of passionate discussion of one’s beliefs, Santa is as important as God.
Awww, SNAP! No! I did not just say that!!
John,
Very fun tongue-in-cheek piece with a good bit to reflect on as we each gear up in our own way for the season. Growing up in an evangelical christian tradition there was little emphasis on Advent at all. We just cut to the chase and spent a full month on one mega-Christmas-a-thon. For the past few years I've been in a ELCA congregation that follows the church calendar and as a result I've found a slowing down to Christmas and time for spiritual reflection in the season of Advent that wasn't there for me previously and for that I'm grateful.
For the record I can handle all the Santa brewhaha but if I ever again see a figurine, poster or card with Santa kneeling before the Baby Jesus I'm going to break into a rash, bleed from the ears, and have a Claus coronary.
Wow, John this whole thing is great!
What a cleaver object lesson you have here to show us, in real time, the issues us good folks in the church have in truly loving other people! How did you ever get all these people to play along? It must have taken you weeks and hundreds of spam mail to plan this!
Wow, just… thank you for all your hard work! I’m finally starting to understand why my dad won’t come to church! And may I say thank you to everyone here who helped to really drive that point home!
John, you should consider writing a witty and truthful commentary about this post and all its comments! Oh, wait… you did!
http://johnshore.wordpress.com/im-ok-endorsements/
Here’s wishing peace and goodwill to all men!!!
(Awe heck, while we’re at it, peace and goodwill to you too Santa… OOPS, I mean Satan! Oh, wait. *Yells off to the side* “Honey, do we wish him goodwill?”
Shoot. Now I’m all confused. Wait, I know! Someone surely has an opinion on that! How’s about they just leave a comment here and help me “grow in my understanding” by judging me! Yeah! That’s it! Judge me, judge me!
Oh, go ahead… type it. You’re already thinking it. Aren’t you?
Morse, after this comment thread, I’m coming over too.
Kris Kringle? Or KING LE RRISK?? Or … KINKER GIRLS???
Okay, that's enough.
That'll teach YOU to mess with Kris Kringle…that'll teach YOU!
Apparently you are a new force for evil in the universe, John.
It has begun…come to the dark side!!!
Mwahahahahahaha!
I actually DID put up a new post about two hours ago…. Yay.
John,
Can we move on now? Let's have a new post to discuss – this one's used up! And how 'bout we lighten the conversation – maybe talk about hymns vs. choruses. Well, on second thought . . .
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