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![John Shore on The Huffington Post](http://johnshore.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/huffpost.jpg?w=120 "John Shore on The Huffington Post\")
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An excellent post! I was drawn in to the end. Funny but quite good advice . . . Well done
thanks for the encouragement! who needs no-pay web developer? contact me. ahehe
Thanks, Cathy. Wonderful comment. Thanks.
Tam: I HAD something about drinking–but then remembered my stuff is also posted on Crosswalk.com. So. NOT.
I like donuts
This post makes me want donuts
Curse you John Shore
Thank you, Oz. But, no: that’s just a made-up title. I was just being funny with it.
A good read to the end. This post is tight – keep up the good work.
You forgot to mention drinking to go with all the snacking. I recomend finding the perfect brew for each type of chip…
Why not dump the trash in the upper atmosphere so its burns up? That should be the perfect incinerator. Maybe I could get a job doing that!
That’s what I thought: That from the moon you could hit earth any time. BRIAN!!! (Now watch me wrong about this…)
You mean the “windows” and such like with the shuttle? I dunno. I would think it could be pretty much ANY time, but the calculations would have to be done for each specific situation–where you wanted it to hit, trajectories, getting thru the atmosphere, etc. And hand-waving. There has to be lots of hand-waving. Like magic.
Yes, I do know that the bomb must be rocket-propelled; that it must be SHOT, not dropped. But could you hit the earth with it at ANY time?
I think technically it would have to be a missile, which is rocket-propelled, as opposed to a bomb, which is dropped. More or less. Then, with enough equations of orbits and hand-waving, you could shoot the earth.
Okay. Funny again John. Funny and oh so helpful. I love how you weave humor into such remarkably sound advice. As one who's been unemployed (unemployed clergy no less) since last year, I made some serious mistakes in the beginning such as thinking all that free time would be a perfect opportunity to get in shape! I only wish I'd had your advice then. It would have kept me from training for a marathon, going to the gym and sweating like a nervous baboon and limiting fats and sugar from my diet. Whew…just admitting all this feels so much better.
I'm happy to report however that I had an intuitive sense about getting in touch with nature, most often attired in a raggedy pair of gray sweats with an oversized white teeshirt stained from a nasty episode involving a failed attempt to deep-fry orange slices. And there's something to be said for the creativity and individuality produced by a good bout of bed hair.
Here's looking ahead to many more weeks and months to practice and refine the skills your recent tips have offered. I am indebted.
God help us all…
And all this time I've been thinking I need to TAKE CARE of myself….thanks for setting me straight. You make a great self-help guru. Maybe you could do this for a living….
A good sense of humor is so necessary when seeking employment! Thanks for the laffs…
Boy, I am glad I read this article today. I feel you pulled me from the clutches of my disparity because I had started contemplating making a call to Maury myself to "get help" for my slightly dysfunctional family. Although, I was starting to get a little concerned when I woke up late only to find out I had missed finding out if Amy Fisher and Danny Buttawhateverhisnameis sold their life stories, or lack thereof, to somebody who was desperate enough to want to write about it. Hey, now, we have been watching the wrong channel all these years. You know as good as I do that the history channel doesn't give you entertainment and employment opportunities all in 30 minutes time…
I am so glad to find out I've been going about this all wrong…I have been on Worker's Compensation due to a work related injury (I know, duh!!!) and have been fretting about not being able to work the 60 hours a week I normally work. Guess I should just sit back and wait for that 66 1/3 to come rolling in. I wonder if they could forward it to Bali?
Thanks for sharing the "lighter side" of life today!
Gad. I thought you were spying on me for a minute there. Having been out of work for 6 weeks (and staring at a phone does NOT make potential employers call ) I have discovered:
1) wearing your hair in a ponytale underneath a stained ancient baseball cap saves you all that grooming time.
2) if you only converse with other unemployed people, you can easily convince yourself that a) its all somebody elses fault and b) there's nothing that can be done about it, so why try.
Also, may I suggest, instead of cable, invest in a police scanner. I don't think I'll ever go back to work, this is so much fun!
Fantastic advice. Gotta go scrounge for some kindling to add to the rug.
Hilarious John, you've just provided a bright start to my day. Luckily I hadn't started drinking my morning coffee or the keyboard would have worn it.
However, for the life of me, I can't find Chicken Soup Costs Too Much For You Now, You Loser on Amazon.com ???
May I just take a moment to say this is hilarious and, at the same time, really, really thought-provoking
Thank you, as always.
Why not start a business. So you could work for yourself, and control your own life.
Never read Shore's blog while drinking Earl Grey Green over your keyboard. It was all I could do to keep from spewing a hot stream that woulda fried a crucial tool of my technical writing trade. Having set my cup down before becoming unemployed, I gotta say: Thanks for the laugh, John! –kathleen
Okay, so what is the astrophysics on that? Is it true that if you had a bomb on the moon, you could, at just about any given time, hit the earth with it? Or do you have to wait for a … clear shot, or what?
John: I'm relieved to see that you still believe things "drop from the moon" and thus you're rejecting the heretical Copernican and Galilean schools of physics that suggest the moon in orbit around the earth, not hanging like the sun and the stars OVER the earth. I think the faithful need to demand our schools start teaching Ptolemy again instead of ruining our children's morals with talk of orbits and light-years.
Greta: Yeah, the whole moon thing. The scary thing about that is that you can just TELL the moon is going to be the next place we just start leaving our trash. You KNOW the moon is about forty years away from being The World's Dump. Which, now that I think of it, maybe isn't so bad. Seems wrong, though. Anyhooo…
Russell: "Makes me wish I was unemployed." Too funny! Thanks.
Dave: Wow! Interesting stuff! Good job. Sounds like you've got the perfect attitude. Excellent.
Sam: That really pleases me. Thank you.
Things to do while waiting for my Unemployment Cash Card
1. Read Shore's Blog. Check
2. Take a Nap
3. Repeat
Excellent read John, and one that I've been living for real now for about 14 months (after losing my job of 25 1/2 years). The additional things I would add (as I continue my almost daily perusal of Monster and Careerbuilder)…
- Realizing that the spare winter tire I've been carrying for over 20 years really wasn't as attractive as I had come to think, and that losing it (still) was the BEST thing I've done for myself and my family in decades. (Special thanks to my Dr's Office and their Lifestyle Program!)
- Taking the time to ENJOY life with my children including a 5 month old sweetness named Sophie (found out the day I lost my job that we were expecting our 3rd…first in 9 years…and my 5th overall) and my beautiful wife, Jenn!
- Continuing to try to find spiritual strength, insight and direction. Funny how losing a job can be one of those things that God uses to draw us back…
In the hustle and bustle of life and work, I'd lost sight of many of the things that should have been first on my priority list. Are they back where they should be? Probably not totally, but they're heading in the right direction. As for a job, lol…it'll happen, hopefully still before the creditors start ringing the phone or pounding the door, but eventually I'll find a company with the same ideals as myself, where family, loyalty, and integrity are just as important as performance!
Again, thanks for your thoughts John, as always, while they make me chuckle, more importantly, they make me think, and be a bit introspective!
God Bless!
Funny post John! Good advice too. Makes me wish I was unemployed. LOL
Did all that come out of one head?
The 'plaque protecting the teeth' point reminded me to make a call to the dentist for a mid-year de-plaqueing. (is that really a word?)
And yeah . . . you're right in the futility of going to the moon! Were they just trying to prove there really is a moon? It's not a cheeseball after all?
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