Comments on: Pastors and Other Christian Leaders: Loosen Up, Before It’s Too Late!

By: John Shore

John Shore — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 08:06:58 +0000

Freddie: How totally interesting. That's just … insane. I wonder how typical that is?

By: Freddie G

Freddie G — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 06:30:48 +0000

My X-pastor was always smiling and joking on Sunday and Wednesday night and then acted like he was drinking vinegar the rest of the week. I finally realized the the week-day Mr. Hyde was the real person and the Sunday and WEdnesday night Dr. Jeckyl was a fake!

By: Joshua

Joshua — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:42:12 +0000

"BE YOURSELF" it's one of the best advice i've ever received! It's alright for a pastor, deacon, and so forth to show who they really are. If you are yourself it helps me trust you!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:07:16 +0000

AMEN!!

By: John Shore

John Shore — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 06:43:12 +0000

Sarah: That's such a great point, and one that attended me throughout writing this post. I think I'll write another one taking a look at the flip-side of the one I've written here–exploring, in other words, exactly the dynamic you (and other commenters here) have so wonderfully expressed. It really is such a two-way street. I've known so many pastors who just fry because of the insane demands put on them from parishoners who expect them to practically BE Jesus.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 06:37:58 +0000

I totally agree. My husband is a pastor and struggles with this all the time. I think he feels that many parishioners "can't handle the truth!" (a la Jack Nicholson). They WANT that cookie cutter pastor who is someone to look up to. While he totally doesn't want to have to be "that guy", he feels like he walks a thin line between being real and teaching people that pastors are just real people like them and keeping his job by almost playing a part they want him to play. I don't think I'm articulating this as well as I'd like, but I hope this makes sense somehow. My point is that it's a two way street/vicious cycle. Act like myself (i.e. a real person with humor and faults and sipping a beer or two – gasp – IN PUBLIC!!)= refreshing to some people but = find a new job to some of the people on the committee in search of "the perfect pastor". Maybe you've already written it, but how about a blog about the impossibilities of being the perfect pastor? I'm amazed anyone goes into congregational ministry with how much pressure is on them to be everyone's version of the perfect pastor. Since everyone sees that differently, that's 2000 different ideas of what a pastor should be like, should do, etc. at our church alone! Thankfully, my husband is pretty confident about not having to measure up to every last opinion, BUT he still feels the weight of the criticism and that is draining.

Good post!

By: Elle

Elle — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:50:45 +0000

So good. Where is that button thing that allows me to post this as an item on facebook? It will make some people laugh and make me look very cool for reading such insightful blogs. Maybe even make me some friends.

By: ric booth

ric booth — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:16:50 +0000

Your call to Personality Cleavage made me think of describing this phenomenon as Personality Shrinkage. You (and Jerry Seinfeld) caused me to go there. Does this qualify for Teamster humor? Rude stuff?

I think some have been raked over the coals for relaxing in front of the crowd. Its like you need a follow-up open letter to Christians and, I suppose, non-Christians too, calling them to chill. Cut the human some slack.

By: RevGer

RevGer — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:57:16 +0000

And oops–after complimenting your use of "two/to/too" I went and improperly used "they're." I'll blame it on the fact it's almost midnight and I should be in bed.

By: RevGer

RevGer — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:53:24 +0000

You're absolutely right! And I always hope that I don't become one of those kinds of pastors. Of course, I'll never have microphones & tv cameras to deal with and my congregation of 17 isn't exactly a megachurch, so never mind. But have you noticed that some pastors even speak differently when they're "up front?" I mean, they're voice changes–like God made them radio voice overs or something. And congrats on using "two…to…too" alternating with other words in that final sentence. (And PS to wickle–tie? socks? What are they? My congregation would collectively faint if I showed up with those things!)