Now here's a guy who takes his punctuation seriously.
This morning I received an email from a friend that in part said, “I’ve decided to begin a petition to eradicate the semicolon, as it is rarely used correctly. Want to join?”
Upon the instant I was appalled; I was aghast; I was mortified. I sent milk spewing everywhere, since just then I was also eating a bowl of Life cereal (which, since it’s not quite sweet enough, is perfectly and even poetically named).
I immediately fired back to my friend this missile of a missive:
God, no. I love and constantly use the semicolon; I wholly depend upon it. You start a club about how to use the semicolon correctly, and I’m your man. But eradicate it? No, no, no, no, no. We only have 13 punctuation marks, total. I need the semicolon. NEED, I SAY!
The fact that you are reading this blog tells me that you are literate: sophisticated, educated, knowledgable knowledgible knowligable super-smart. And I happen to know that my semicolon-disparaging friend isn’t exactly an instantly speechless admirer of shiny objects.
So I ask you, reader: What think you of this movement I have reason to know is burgeoning out there, of eradicating the semicolon? Are you for that? Is anyone? Do people really not know how to use this noblest (if most finicky) of punctuation marks?
What say you, reader? Thumbs up or down for Ye Oldye Semicolon?
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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
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I think the problem is poor-naming. From my analytical mind, semicolon is ½ of a colon. A colon has two dots. One dot should be semicolon. However, one dot is called a period, which is confusing. Maybe we should rename semicolon to period-comma. I mean, that is what it is, right?
I vote for the eradication of the misuse of the semicolon or the apostrophe and the overuse of the exclamation point. Not every sentence you write is that exciting, dammit! I want a snazzy shocky-thing built into all keyboards, ready to zap a volt through the fingers of those who dare to hit “send” whilst an apostrophe dangles precariously or a semicolon is rudely trod upon by an inappropriate clause. More than 2% of your sentences end in exclamation points? No go. Not only will the “send/submit” button not work until said error is corrected, the zapping will continue – maybe even increasing in voltage, until it is fixed.
::::::cue maniacal laughter::::::
That’ll teach ‘em . . . .
Sure! Let’s get rid of the semi-colon! Why confuse people with even moderately complex sentence structures? We, as a culture, getting close to communicating solely via emoticons anyway. Was it someone from the Bush Administration who said, “We don’t do nuance”? A prophet, I tell you. IMHO. OMG. LOL.
My own opinion: semi-colons, like apostrophes, must be used ONLY by people who know how to wield them. If only we had some kind of mechanism where we could instruct people on their proper use….a kind of…room, where people—maybe even young children—would sit and have someone explain proper grammar. There might even be a way of questioning these people to see if they understood. Have them demonstrate proper usage in some kind of timed environment….crazy talk, I know.
Though I am an “instantly speechless admirer of shiny objects” (ADD will do that) I do love the semicolon
I support all the well-considered responses above concerning the semicolon; it also makes the winky emoticon!
You can eradicate the semicolon when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. A period does not do justice to two separate sentences with related ideas (e.g., “He blogs for Huffington Post; he’s a liberal”), and just think of the sentence mayhem for lists that contain single subjects that have commas in them (“Her favorite movies are The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly; Love, Actually; and Die Hard” becomes “Her favorite movies are The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, Love, Actually, and Die Hard”).
Long live the semicolon. Educate the masses.
No way! Apostrophes and semi-colons are essential to the English language. People who for some reason can’t be bothered with learning the correct usage of those and other punctuation marks is no reason for the rest of us to write like uneducated imbeciles. (And don’t get me started on the atrocities of misspelling common words and using incorrect words. Come on people, I’m not going to go LAY down. I’m going to go lie down or I’m going to lay my body down. Grrr, that’s my latest pet peeve!)
I think we should eradicate EVERYTHING that people seldom do/use correctly. Just think of all the problems that would solve. ;-0
I use the semicolon, and I like to use it. I NEED to use it when I use the word whereas. Yes, many people have abandonned the introductory clause; whereas construction in favor of the introductory clause, whereas construction, but I want more than a momentary pause between clauses when I use whereas. I also like to use it with numbered lists.
As for apostrophes, yes I like those, too. I just wish people would learn to use them correctly. sigh.
Amen to that, Emanden.
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