The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To learn more about Amazon Prime—and to get a one-month free trial—go here. ) As per Amazon’s rules, content included in the Kindle Lending Library program cannot be available elsewhere online. Sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused you.
![John Shore on The Huffington Post](http://johnshore.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/huffpost.jpg?w=120 "John Shore on The Huffington Post\")
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
« 1 2 3
As the mother of four sons and the grandmother to a grandson, and after knowing my husband and his twin brother, for 38 years, AND after reading your post I can only wonder how there are any adult men in the world at any given time. Btw, my youngest son, when he was 16 years old, ran into a barbed wire fence while riding an ATV at a slow speed and nearly was killed. This is one of many reasons my hair is white underneath the blonde!
Thanks for posting this; just found your blog searching around. Keep up the good work!
Wait … you made the clothesline thing work?
You were easily the coolest kid ever! Every single bullied boy in the country wishes he could pull that one off.
I bow to your superior tactics.
I have no doubt that God himself will smack me up the side of my head when I get there..
Cause I have been giving him a pretty hard time. Very funny – Loved the Lincoln thing.
Timely post…i am at a juncture in my life where I am taking stock. In looking back at the cretins that wailed on me in my youth I realize what a smacking around I took. Now I have to flip it around and see who will be waiting for me in heaven (BIG assumption here) with a two by four…
Awesome! I think there is an ex- nun who is going to beat me up!
Hilarious! I LOVE your perspective! Write on!
haha very funny, can't stop laughing
tg
Oh my goodness! This blog is hilarious! I am new to the blogging community and I pleased to meet the likes of you John. I will follow your blog…especially on those difficult days when its hard to laugh. Because even though you’ve been “trying God’s patience” for a while. You certainly are reminding me of His most practical remedy to life’s troubles: humor. I’m afraid I have my few that might beat me up as well….this was so enjoyable.
Thanks John. I’ll be around.
Very funny! I especially enjoyed the description of Lincoln. Laughed out loud on that one. Wish I could write like this. Loved the photo too.
LMFAO, Seeing as gods, rules, don't seem to apply down here, I can't see or think of one good reason why they would apply in heaven iether. I am so amused by your intolerence for the same type of people that I too have gone toe to toe with in my life, although I don't think I had as much success as you seem to have had. Funny funny funny, A mesage too all those abusers out there, we are here and we are not going any place your not going too, so keep messing with people places and things you have no buiness, messing with, and "I'll meet you in the next world, don't be late" (Jimy H.) I just have to take a breath here lol. I do believe that the bone heads that I've rattled, didn't learn anything from my instruction, in how to put down a sic dawg with speed and mass. dysfunctional people have a way of makeing excuses for there abuses, how sad for all of us to have to deal with them. Being passive just encurages them more, and going toe to toe with them, does little more but man It makes people feel good to know some is watching out for them. STILL LMAO
Very funny. I remember Honest Abe being a big guy who knew how to punch–ouch for you.
hahaha "harps have wires!" Good on you for helping out Bob!
I think your best bet is to try to turn them all against each – tell Honest Abe that Master Han said he looks like a chimney stack in that hat. Then sit back and let the dominos fall…
Leave it to wordpress to find me a knew blog that fits my sense of style: SNARKISM and WIT. Great post – thanks John!
your writing is fascinating, funny and inspiring.
your writing is fascinating, funny and inspiring.
Ohhhh dude you totally need to go on a trip to Heaven cuz your description is hilarious but unlikely in Heaven. I think that all of those 5 people would go up to you and give you the biggest hug ever and then give you a gift that you didn’t even know you desired but would be more than you ever desired. My friend Judy Franklin goes to Heaven all the time and she even takes people on trips there in the spirit—There is speaking of hers called “Heaven Can’t Wait.” (http://www.ibethel.org/store/p2457/HeavenCan2339tWait/product_info.html) it is worth the listen if you have an extra $4.00. Additionally, I think you actually have a gift for playing music(not the harp) and will be playing music in Heaven when you go for eternity…..This was a divine appointed blog comment because I don’t even ever go on wordpress but have been feeling compelled to start a blog and I saw your post…LOL! I used to think that I would be floating around in Heaven on a cloud as well……that was until I heard the stories of people that have gone up to Heaven and then back to earth again..sooooo good!!! If you can stomach it you should watch this man Jesse Duplantis Encounters of the God Kinds experience! It jacked me up!!!! (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5112255142824133974#) Keep up the great writing on your blog! It rocks dot com!!!
A good post. Continue to read more news post.
I would have a long list, for I have sent thousands there. Fortunately I ruled myself out of going to heaven to avoid getting my ass kicked by a bunch of angry impaled assholes.
Hey, guys. Been out all day. Thanks so much for the love here. Great comments. Though at this point of course I can't answer each one, I've certainly read each one, and very much appreciate what you guys have here taken the time to say.
I love the Mitch Albom book, but it def didn't give me a giggle like this did – and I just came off a long-ass shift at work. Anything that gets more than a yawn out of me right now, you know it's good!
Good laughs—hope you make it out of Heaven alive…………..xo
That templar picture is ridiculously epic. Funny stuff.
Great post John…checked out some of your other posts and added you to my roll =)
this is my new favorite blog.
Very funny!!! I love, love, love the premise. Now, I guess I have to think about who’s going to beat me up if I get to heaven.
Your post really made me laugh. I love your comical take on getting into heaven.
« 1 2
{ 2 trackbacks }