Are anti-gay Christians my “brothers and sisters” in Christ?

Got this in yesterday:

Dear John,

I stumbled across your blog while doing other research and was interested and then confused. Though I appreciate your loving, Christian manner and what you have to say about Christians not treating homosexuals with hell fire antics, God’s word is quite clear on the subject. You suggested that God would not ask any Christian to choose between their heart and faith [here] but doesn’t Jeremiah 17:9 tell us “the heart is more deceitful that ALL else and is desperately sick, who can understand it?” As a Christian, many times I have has to choose between what my heart desires and what God commands, we all do. Don’t get me wrong, I do not wish for homosexuals to be mistreated though I do feel their “rights” should not discriminate against Christians rights (especially when it comes to marriage). However to tell a homosexual that their lifestyle is not active sin would be a lie and not help them grow closer to God. Just as it would not glorify God to tell an gluttoness [sic], overweight person that they are not sinning. Sin comes in many forms and to cover it up or try to sugar coat it, only allows Satan more an avenue for his lies. My cousin is a lesbian and in a committed relationship with a wonderful friend but we get along because I tell her the truth without being her judge, I love her and her partner even though they, like I, are sinners. Homosexuals have choices to make each day, just like heterosexuals and some of those choices are sinful and some are not but we must be honest about who and what we are, so that God can examine our heart and conform it to His. Thank you for your time.

A little bit later I wrote on the wall of my Facebook page:

Yes, crazy Christian, it is your right to hold the opinion that homosexuality is a sin. You can even pretend that you’re unaware of the life-destroying ramifications of that opinion. But do not kid yourself: God knows what you allow yourself to pretend you don’t.

And while the great majority of the responses to that statement were hearteningly supportive, it also (as expected) compelled others to rush to alert me to how I was failing to show proper love to my “brothers and sisters in Christ.”

Which I think begs the question: Are people who hold the beliefs expressed in the letter above really my “brothers and sisters” in Christ? Such Christians and I do, after all, have radically different, fundamentally opposing ideas about the very nature and purpose of God. So when is it reasonable to wonder whether or not we do in fact believe in the same God at all?

When does the God in which I believe become categorically different from theirs?

At any rate, I’m all for showing deference and respect to people who deserve it—and to anyone who might even almost deserve it. But it is indisputable that the “Christian” belief system evinced by the letter above daily and directly contributes to the ruination of the lives of gay people and those who love them. To my mind anyone who at this point persists in clinging to those beliefs does thereby forfeit their absolute right to respectful treatment. Because when all is said and done such people are nothing but bullies. They are sweet-talking, reasonable-sounding bullies who are daring to use God as their weapon of persecution.

I owe such people nothing whatsoever. My allegiance is to their victims, and to the God they shame by their ignorant bigotry.

Image from my post  Christians and the Blood of Jamey Rodemeyer.

P.S. Eighty-five comments later, I’m moved to make the point that I’ve nowhere claimed that anti-gay Christians are not my brothers and sisters in Christ. I merely speculated on the validity of the automatic assumption that they are.

Follow-up post: I’ve loved me some gay-condemning fundies.