Yesterday I put up a podcast episode that today I realized was too … not good enough. Too strident; too much of what I say on my blog anyway. So I’ve updated it with this podcast episode, in which I discuss some of why I’m so designed to align with outsiders.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, John. As you said. We have won. Just the wailing and knashing of teeth skirmishes remain. This brot tears to my old gay eyes. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/06/texas-am-students_n_1653002.html#slide=more237102
WE HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!
[Fundy troll trash-talk deleted.]
South Georgia here. Gay people are invisible. It’s very painful for me to be here and see this, being as I lived in NYC for 13 years and worked in the fashion and theater industries. Everyone would have us believe that there is no such thing as an LBGT person down here. And it never, ever comes up in “polite” conversation.
I really liked the other recording, but I understand why you yanked it. It’s easy for me to sit by the sidelines and say that our society badly needs table-tossers right now, but that’s what I believe.
But as LGBT rights go forward (as they should) as we are becoming more accepted and acceptable, are we loosing our status as outsiders, and are we loosing our uniqueness and culture? Many aspects of queer culture are being lost: the need to speak in codes to identify each other, the art of cruising, being “friends of Dorothy,” hanky codes, tea-room culture, etc. I’m afraid that as we become more assimilated , the unique and wonderful aspects of queer culture, much of which we developed because we are outsiders, are being lost forever.
I think, though, that the difference will be that gay people are born to straight people, and so gay children will not (usually) have gay aprents to pass on any cultural traditions. Being gay is, in many respects, like being a redhead or left-handed, rather than an ethnic or linguistic minority. Gay adults and kids will come out and, as they face less persecution and ostracism, will need less and be motivated less to seek out other gay people or to build their cultural experiences around the gay community. Eventually, when those who remember persecution become the minority of gay and trans people, those traditions will likely fade.
For those of us who are gay, but have really never experienced that culture (I have no direct experience of the things you listed and don’t even know what all of them are), that culture not only doesn’t make sense but doesn’t even sound appealing. And yet we’ve had to struggle with sterotypes based on that culture when we are and infact always been essentially assimilated into the mainstream. Sometimes we might even resent that culture, because we are assumed to belong to it, and assumed to be, for example, not monogamous, as a result. That’s can be a stumbling block for those of us who, while proud to be gay, don’t see it as dictating anything else about our lives.
I think the point of equality of rights is just that—a balancing of the scales. It has nothing to do with changing anybody into anything different than what they choose to be. Again, that’s the point of having shared rights– to be who you are without reprisal or backlash.
I don’t think there will ever be a time when homosexuality will become homogenous.
Absolutely we’ll still have our culture. Like Christine said, our youth will still need to look to the elders of the community for guidance as they come out.
Trans youth especially will need those who have already transitioned to point them towards surgeons, therapists, endocrinologists, help with the coming-out-to-yourself struggle, and teach life skills. Formal systems to help people gender transition will always be few and far in between. We will always rely on each other.
I look at women’s suffrage and the civil rights movement. Those movements are roughly 100 and 50 years old, respectively, but they still have struggles that bind the communities together and encourage culture. We’ll never lose it as long as we want it
.
There are good things that come out of every bad thing. The Underground Railroad was an awesome display of human charity and courage; should we have kept slavery in order to preserve it?
We don’t know yet what traditions will evolve within gay culture when it’s allowed to flourish openly. I have hope they will be wonderful.
I was thinking something like what you said; but you put it perfectly. A lot of those traditions developed because people were trying to hide (needed to hide.) If they are lost, it should be celebrated because there is no longer a need to hide. And new traditions will grow as people feel more accepted and comfortable.
John, I like your enthusiastic belief the the ‘war is nearly won’. I wish I had that level of confidence that the bullying will soon cease. Yeah, I’m still angry, so…. that’s why I keep coming over here to remind myself there IS reason for hope, reason for hope in humanity.
Life is kindergarten– I want to print that on t-shirts.
Although “the war is almost won” on the legal front, that only means we’re moving into an era when gays and lesbians will enjoy full and equal rights with heterosexuals. That’s significant but not the end of the issue.
We still have a long way to go before society, as a whole, will accept us as equal human beings. When the homophobia and bullying stop we’ll know we’ve gotten somewhere.
It was good. I wish you had kept the other one as well, but this one is good too. Looking forward very much to next week’s episode.
I knew I should have commented yesterday. I loved that podcast! Oh well. I’ll listen to your updated version. Maybe I’ll like it even better.
Hey, DA. Yeah, I mean … like I say, I thought Version 1 was just too … strident.
The whole TALKING thing is weird for me, basically. Fun. But … different.
Anyway, thanks, as ever, for your encouragement and kind words. Hope you’re well.