Hi, guys. Some of you have been with me for a long time, so I thought I’d share with you that today my father, Norman John Shore, died. He was 86 years old. I’ve written a bit about him here on my blog, but of course never scraped the surface of who he was, and certainly not of who he was to me.
He was a good man who taught me to be a good man. That’s the bottom line. Also, for me, is this far from irrelevant fact: he was, hands down, the funniest person I’ve ever met. I talked to him about two week ago. He’d been moved into an assisted care facility, the grounds of which he wasn’t allowed to leave on his own. By way of sharing how intolerable he found this (“There’s nobody in here but old people!”) he riffed into this extensive, discursive, spectacularly articulate and sublimely timed routine for me, about how his new mission in life was to badger and guilt the Social Director of the place into realizing the extent of her probably moral and definitely professional obligation to accept his bribe of one million dollars in exchange for allowing him to slip out the gate so that he might, if only for the day, at least have a chance of cultivating for himself something resembling an actual and real social life—whereupon, the moment she had relented, he would hastily hobble to the Von’s store across the street and buy himself a ham sandwich.
“Hey,” he said. “I take my comfort where I can.”
I’m telling you, I laughed till I cried.
Also: “Your laughter is interfering with my degrading shame.”
![John Shore on The Huffington Post](http://johnshore.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/huffpost.jpg?w=120 "John Shore on The Huffington Post\")
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So sorry to hear.
Sending love and light to you in this paradigmatic shift in your world.
Very sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing the story. Laughter is highly underrated as an important tool for keeping sane in an often baffling world.
John–
What a great story about your dad. I can see why you loved him so much. Sending you peace and comfort!
John, my condolences on your loss. My Mother died Thanksgiving morning last year and it is definitely a process to heal.
John, I’m so sorry about your dad. I’ve never commented on your blog before – but I’ve really appreciated so many of your posts as well as your kind and generous spirit that shows through in all of them.
: (
Deepest condolences.
I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS i JUST BROUGHT MY 90 YEAR OLD MOM TO MY HOUSE TO CARE FOR HER WE GOT HOSPICE AND I TRULY ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT BLESSINGS AND PEACE TO YOU AND YOURS
So sorry for your loss…
I’ve been away for a while as well. I’m so sorry about your loss, John. Hugs and condolences.
I’ve been away from the interwebs for a while, so I missed this until now. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss John. We’ll keep you in prayer here.
hi John…
Years ago, my “gay” dad/mentor died and I was devastated. Another friend reminded me that the pain I was experiencing was my living monument to the love that we had shared… those words changed the experience… from loss to… something more sublime.
My biological dad died on thanksgiving… he had been ill for many years… and I saw this as an opportunity to repair some of the ancient hurts… and to be of service to him… and to recognize him for the person who he was… rather than resent him for the person who I wanted him to be… I was lucky… my dad and I were able to bridge a huge gulf… and I was next to him when he died… which was a blessing…
Your dad sounds like he is a very good man… you were very lucky to have shared a life with him… I am truly sorry for your sorrow…
with love
Robert
John,
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother’s father died on the 4th of January, and she had some very difficult times with her father growing up. At the funeral, she said the only way she survived it and began to love and respect her father again to remember the forgiveness and the love of God. I have been reading your site for some time, and I always enjoyed the posts you shared about your dad. God bless.
Sorry for your loss!
Ah, my sympathies.
Condolences, John. Losing a parent, no matter what the relationship, is always difficult. I know you’ve shared some of the harder things about him and how difficult it was, but choosing to acknowledge and highlight the good is an honorable thing. He deserves that. We all deserve that. May his memory bring you smiles and laughter. God bless.
John, just as you have always been a good listener and a compassionate friend to me, and all your readers, I am here for you now.
Several days late, but my condolences, John.
And my prayers, alongside too many others bereaved this week.
So sorry, John. Just do not know what else to say. Take care.
You have helped me so much. PS I am 13 and I read your amazing work.
Sorry to hear about your loss but thankful there are good memories to remember him by! He left a great legacy.
Sorry for your loss
I am so sorry. He raised a fine son.
Thank you for sharing, John. My father lived into his 80′s and died about 4 years ago. Tho we saw each other once or twice a year, I never knew him and have literally NO good memories of him. He never knew how I guess and sure, some of that is my failing for not trying, but the fact is that by the time I learned that, I no longer cared.
It’s all gone and done now.
I’m happy that you have good memories.
Soulmentor, I would like to share some comfort with you tonight if you wouldn’t mind. I am very sorry for your experience. I’ll simply say that I can relate to what you’re saying, and I just want for you not to be alone in your feeling.
Thank you Jill. You have a good heart. You, and everyone here are the antidote to prevailing cynicism. Much love to you.
Bill
So sorry
I’m sorry for your loss, but glad that you have a nice memory of him as one of your last encounters.
<3
I am sorry for your loss, John. I’ll say a prayer.
Susan in NY
Surely he will be greatly missed by all who were blessed to have known him.
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