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“Penguins,” My “Blasphemous” Christian Book, Finally Returns Home

My first book, “Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang: Why I Do the Things I Do, by God” (as told to John Shore), is the only thing I’ve ever written that I think is perfect. (You never feel that way about anything you write–-especially years later.) The story of that book is so unbelievable that [...]

An Atheist, Post-Death, Meets God

[In the afterlife.]
Atheist: Wow. I can’t believe I’m dead.
God: Believe it.
Atheist: Whoa! Didn’t see you there! Who are you?
God: Hi. I’m God.
Atheist: Ha, ha. No, but seriously. Who are you?
God: I’m seriously God. It’s nice to finally meet you.
Atheist: You’re God. You’re telling me that you’re God.

It’s a Necessarily Horrible Early-19th C. Hand-Cranked Skull Saw!

In the astonishingly competitive contest that yesterday raged across the internet as thousands hundreds tens of readers furiously vying for a free autographed copy of my book I’m OK–You’re Not hurt their heads trying to guess what this thing is even though after a while I could see nobody was ever going to get it [...]

Best Hits

Relationships

Top 10 Qualities to Look for in a Wife
Top 10 Tips for Becoming a Better Husband
Six Tests to Determine if He’s Mr. Right
How To Win Every Argument With Your Wife
Hollywood: Go Polanski Yourself
Looking for Mr. Right? You’re Missing the Piont, Missy
Surprise (Or Not)! Men Are Spoiled!
The Spoiled Rotten Adult
Unhappy? Reject Your Parents
Christian Marrying a Non-Christian? [...]

Blog Break, and a Best Hits Collection (That’s Way Too Long)

I’m gonna be taking a bit of a blog break, Buster. Between now and when I return, of course feel free to check out any of these Best Hits of mine that you might have missed:
Top 10 Qualities to Look for in a Wife
Top 10 Tips for Becoming a Better Husband
Pick-Up Lines Of Famous Men [...]

Why Not “Facenewspaper” or “Facemagazine”?

I’m a word guy. I would be a thought guy, but that’s an insane amount of work. In my (faceless) book, style beats substance every time, because substance necessarily leads to responsibility, which necessarily leads to me putting in earplugs and pantomiming that I can’t hear anything being said.
Hey, it’s a lifestyle. Don’t judge.
Anyway, what’s [...]

3a. Women In Bad Relationships: Eve’s Curse Isn’t Yours, Pt. 2

(This post is sixth in the series 7 Reasons Women Stay in Bad Relationships. I have collected all my posts in this series into a 41-page document, entitled: “Seven Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships (and How To Defeat Each One of Them),” and made it available here on Scribd.com for free downloading and/or online [...]

John 1:17: Where “Truth” Depends on Your Translation (!)

Today we’re considering John 1: 17, which reads (in the NIV translation): “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”
Seems simple enough, right? Law comes from men; grace and truth come through Jesus Christ.
Except, wait. Stop. Back up.
I understand the part about grace having come through Jesus Christ. No [...]

Did Rick Warren’s Invocation Sound Off To Anyone Else?

This is hardly a big deal, but did anyone else think that Rick Warren’s invocation sounded just a little bit, very slightly, to a degree hardly noticeable at all, off? I certainly don’t mean to be in any way dismissive or disparaging about such an important religious leader of ours. But while listening to Mr. [...]

I Break With Thee; I Break With Thee; I Break With Thee

A week or so ago I made noises about taking a break from blogging—but then, alas, failed to. (Those of you who used my non-breaking as fodder for a rash of totally unfunny jokes about my apparent Blog Addiction and/or lack of resolve will, I am sure, be pleased to learn that I have hired [...]