Well, school is upon us. Not upon me, but upon many. Speaking of school being upon people, I lost my virginity to one of my high school teachers. Ah, my old erstwhile high school teacher. She was twenty-four. I was seventeen. She had a job. For funds I collected soda bottles and scrounged through my [...]
Archive for the ‘Autobiography’ Category
16 Aug
Lovely Mexicans Up the Block; Married by a Gay Pastor Ken Doll; 29 Big Ones Today
My wife Cat and I got married twenty-nine years ago today. We got married on a Sunday. But today is Monday. Can you imagine getting married on a Monday? What a total way to tell the world that you expect your marriage to be something you just drag your butt out of bed every morning [...]
15 Aug
What I Bought For the Week at Trader Joe’s
Yesterday, in “I Dare You To Stay Awake Reading This,” I mentioned my plans to go grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s. I was trying to be boring. But instead of thinking it was boring, some of you expressed an interest in knowing what I bought there. Maybe I’ve been doing this blog thing all wrong. Maybe [...]
8 Aug
My Giant Baby Head
One of my earliest memories is realizing that my head was so huge I couldn’t lift it off my crib mattress. It was awful. From my shoulders up I felt like a piece of garden hose jammed into a medicine ball. And I really wanted to move my head, too. I wanted to participate in [...]
12 Jun
Happy/Sad to Say, I Won’t Miss My Father
Hey, guys. Hey, I very much want to thank those of you who sent me such love via your very kind notes around my recent post, Father’s Day is Coming; My Father’s Night is Here. Thank you! I live a pretty shut-in type life, actually, so these Across the Cyberspace Universe transmissions of affection are really, well, affecting. Relative [...]
10 Jun
Father’s Day is Coming; My Father’s Night is Here
My father takes some thirty different medications, relating mainly to his bad heart. Both his mottled, discolored skin and his blood are so thin that when he wakes in the morning he is sure to find blood stains everywhere on his sheets. He is intermittently incontinent. His feet and calves are prone to swelling to [...]
9 Jun
The Moment I Met My Wife
When I saw my wife for the first time, I leaned against a wall for support. She had just turned in my direction after stepping off the elevator at the far end of the otherwise unoccupied dorm floor hallway in which I was standing like the Scarecrow with dropsy. I was twenty years old, and drunk. It [...]
30 May
Know
It’s four a.m., and I just awoke from a dream that ended with me in tears. Thought I’d share. There are times when I like — or, more truly, need — to write. Not as in “think something profound and express it with words”; but physically, with a pen or pencil on paper, to write. [...]
13 May
How My Wife Took the News of My Sudden Conversion
How did my wife of sixteen years respond to discovering she was married to a Christian?
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