Humor

Then I went to hell

Kissing-Girls-Gets-you-Sent-to-Hell

I saw her standing there—then I went to hell! I heard it through the grapevine—then I went to hell! I can’t get no satisfaction—then I went to hell! I just called to say I love you—then I went to hell! I shot the sheriff—then I went to hell!

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Love is a many splintered thing

bald bear

People always say that love is an unfathomable mystery no mortal can fully understand. But they’re wrong. Love is like a tapeworm. It’s invasive, sucks the life out of you, makes you take drugs, makes you walk funny, gives you a fever, and causes you to spend a lot of time in the bathroom crying. [...]

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How To Win Every Argument With Your Wife

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Husbands: As you know, arguing is a humologargantuamegamondo part of being married. The main thing to bear in mind about an argument with your wife is that you never, ever want to lose one. Losing an argument makes you look stupid. Besides, would you ever even get into any argument with your wife if you [...]

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SALE! My collected humor: 99 cents. One week only

Ha10forpage

HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor, is now on sale as a Kindle book* for $0.99. One week only. You can also borrow HA! for free, with no due dates, if you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s [...]

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How to Go to Work as The Twelve Days of Christmas!

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Want to this year spread so much holiday cheer that even your boss is sure to commend you for it? Then show up to work, every day for twelve days in a row, dressed like a different character from The Twelve Days of Christmas ! Here are some simple costume ideas to help you make [...]

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The Mystery of the Disappearing Christmas Carolers

christmas_carolers-247x300

The post you are looking for is included in HA!, a full-sized collection of five years worth of my best humor. If you are a Kindle owner and a member of Amazon Prime, you can borrow HA! for free, with no due dates. (If you don’t own a Kindle, here’s where to get one. To [...]

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Posts by Theme

Dear John

Liberals in conservative churches: leave, or stay to effect change?

oddball

Yesterday on my Facebook page I wrote this: I receive letters from closeted liberals in conservative Christian organizations–ministries, seminaries, churches. They’re torn between leaving, and staying so they can effect change from within. What’s been your experience?

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Christian Issues

The fundamentally toxic Christianity

And-Jesus-Wept

Everything that’s wrong with Christianity in one nutshell.

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Relationships

What does a woman mean when she says “I need space”?

backoff

Dear John, A good friend of mine suggested I contact you. I am now at the end of a five-year relationship and I am feeling lost as to what happened. We have had no fights, no disagreements, no infidelity. Just all of a sudden, it is over. I came home yesterday to a “Dear John” [...]

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Christian Spirituality

Joseph and Pregnant Mary at the Inn

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Joseph: How do you feel, Mary? Mary: Pregnant. Very pregnant. Joseph: Are you comfortable? Do you have enough hay? Mary: I do, thank you. And thanks for doing such a thorough job cleaning that feeding trough. I can’t believe our baby’s first crib will be a feeding trough. Joseph: No, no: it’s not a feeding [...]

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Humor

Top 10 Things I WON’T Say To Rob Bell During Our Lunch Today

Rob-Bell

Later today I’ll be having lunch with former mega-church founder and leader, best-selling author and soon-to-be huge television star Rob Bell. While of course security concerns prohibit me from revealing the location of what Rob has called our “epic lunch,” two words should be enough for you to grasp the magnitude of this groundbreaking summit: [...]

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Personal

“Your laughter is interfering with my degrading shame”

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If I had a thousand years and spoke as many languages I couldn’t begin to express my gratefulness for the messages of condolences so many of you sent me after learning that my father died. I feel my father read and was moved by them all. Each and every one of those messages also somehow [...]

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