Mad Dad!

by John Shore on February 13, 2011 in · 2 comments

Here’s a series of posts I wrote about rather suddenly having to deal with caring for my father. The posts are listed in the order in which they were published.

1. Death, Be Not Stupid (1/25/2011)

2. I Was (Literally) Locked Up and Tortured in an Insane Asylum (1/29/2011)

3. Father Has No Idea What’s Best (2/1/2011)

4. How to Make Your Father’s Insults Mean Nothing (2/3/2011)

5. I Give Up. Thank God! (2/4/2011)

6. Hello From Crazy Town (2/5/2011)

7. Why Does My Dad Insist I’m a Pig? (2/7/2011)

8. Yikes! My Dad Almost HIT Me! (2/8/2011)

9. How To Ensure You Never Off Your Terrible Parents (2/9/2011)

10. “Love, Whatsisname.” (2/10/2011)

11. How To Be Okay With Love Ruining You (2/12/2011)

12. “Dad! Go To Your Room!” (2/13/2011)

13. 15 Ways to Stay Sane Caring for an Elderly Parent (2/15/2011)

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Caryl June 20, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Read ‘em all. Is it wrong to say they were all hilarious? As an APS social worker, I see this kind of ‘stuff’ more often than not. Thank you for brevity in the middle of a hurricane!

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Denise Foster May 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I am working my way through your dad blogs, and have to say, you have some background. My background with my family is not as extreme as yours (the insane asylym thing is hard to beat!!!) but I was raised with a mom who was (we MUCH later found out, Bi-Polar with Asperbergers) and a dad who was not rational. A lot of weirdness went on at my house – no broken bones, no sexual abuse… but mental and emotional trauma we had lots of. And yet, we looked “normal” to everyone else, maybe even good.

All this to say, I understand a lot of what you express in your blog. It’s hard to explain to someone who was not raised where “reality” was not reality how hard one grasps at the truth… I am pretty sure that one of the reasons I am a bottom-line, don’t give me any crap, just tell me how it is (and please make it the truth) people is because knowing what actually was reality in my home was nearly impossible. If my sister hadn’t been there with me and we could compare notes (i.e. our memories are similar whereas the “truths” we were presented didn’t represent our memories at all)… I think I would have gone completely nuts.

I too spent my 20′s working on forgiveness and leaving the past behind … although, as I’m sure you figured out, forgiving and repairing yourself is one thing; continuing to deal with people who are in the same place that caused the things that needed forgiving in the first place… is another. Life (and craziness) goes on.

However, most people consider me a very stable, sane and wise person; the cost for all that was substantial, but worth the investment.

My dad has a saying I like – “If you like where your life is now, everything that came before was just the price of admission”.

Maybe the trick is to be sure the admission was worth it. I know it was for me, pain and all. Ultimately we choose what reality we live in – the rest is merely circumstance.

:)

Thanks for listening

Denise

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